i · might · be · wrong

Last night, Crash won the Best Picture at the 78th Academy Awards. I cannot even begin to describe to you how upset I am about this, but I willl try my best anyways. I saw Crash in Madison with the writer/director Paul Haggis present last year. This showing was actually 3-4 months before the movie would get a wide release. I was actually really excited about it since Haggis also wrote Million Dollar Baby.

The film ended and I thought it was terrible (as did my friend I attended it with). There are various reasons why I criticize the film so much. First off, the structure is a direct rip off of PT Anderson's Magnolia. I'm not saying this only because of the interconnnected stories, but because the film is even set up the same way Magnolia. Both films also feature a segment where we get a glimpse of the characters at their lowest point while a song plays (in Magnolia it is Aimee Mann, in Crash it is an Aimee Man rip off). Some could point out that Magnolia is very similiar to Robert Altman's Short Cuts and I would agree with them, but that doesn't bother me as much. Anderson and Altman are friends, so to me it is more of an example of influence than rip off. Finally, one could argue that Magnolia is a streamlined, polished version of Short Cuts (22 characters > 9 characters). Either way they are both excellent by 2 of my favorite directors.

My other problem with Crash is that I don't feel it says anything. I realize what it is trying to say, but that doesn't mean it does a good job of it. In fact, the writing is awful (Crash also won a Best Original Screenplay Oscar). In all, the movie reminds me of those cheap shirts in malls with the little boy in your favorite team's facepaint with his middle finger up. Crash takes the same approach, take something that seems innocent and throw a racial slur into it. It might be effective if it felt natural instead of forced. It is at this point that I found out that Haggis also wrote Walker, Texas Ranger.

After the film ended, there was a Q&A. It is at this point that people started praising the film, one girl even suggested that it should win a Nobel Peace prize. At that point, my friend and I had to leave. A few months later the movie would be released and become a surprise hit. Here we are now and it is a Best Picture winner. (The 2nd worst Best Picture selection in the history of the Academy. #1 would be 1976 when Rocky beat Taxi Driver, All the President's Men & Network). I am constantiy getting into arguments with people who claim Crash is good. As some have pointed out, Crash received a good reception because people desperately want to see socially conscious films so they are willing to praise movies that try to do something, even though they may fail at it. I think this very well could be part of it since it did come out in April, a month when film releases are historically poor. Another thought is that people like to say they like Crash because it makes them feel good (Kind of like saying, I'm not racist). I think it could be because every year a fringe mainstream film becomes a hit. Normally the movie is solid but nearly as good as everyone claims. I think Crash falls into this trap as well (Kind of like saying, I like independent films). The best quote I've heard about Crash is someone said that Crash is the favorite movie to everyone who likes to say, "alot of my friends are black".

In summary, I hate Crash and I'm embarassed that it won Best Picture.

I finally got a job, it only took 9 months.

On another note, I was at Pedros today (a mexican restaurant) and there was a couple eating hamburgers.

I saw this on another friend's blog, so please fill it out.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=shaftr

I own more pairs of pajama pants than I do pairs of jeans.

So, earlier this evening I found myself saying vowels out loud. At first, it started innocently with just listing them "a, e, i, o, u" verbally. Before long, I was trying to space out the vowels and give them a certain inflection to make it sound as if I was making a real sentence.

For example:
a e, i o u?
a, e i o u!
a e i o, u?

I'm not sure what it means, or even if it makes sense to anyone else. Either way, it can't be a good sign. Hopefully, Tuesday will go well for me and I'll be starting work in 06.

November was a busy month for me in regards to watching movies. I think this is a new record for me. This also doesn't count the 8 hrs of Band of Brothers I've watched (since I have 2 hrs left in it).

November - 40 films

Back to the Future Part III ***1/2
Back to the Future Part II ****
Back to the Future *****
Hackers ***
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation *
Annie Hall *****
War of the Worlds ****
The Brood ****1/2
The Grizzly Man ****1/2
Double Indemnity *****
Kung Fu Hustle ****
Big Trouble in Little China ****
Rocky ***1/2
The Grapes of Wrath ****1/2
Punch-Drunk Love *****
Short Cuts *****
Kids ***1/2
Dancer in the Dark ****1/2
Pitch Black ***
Toy Story ****
Dances with Wolves *****
Good Night, and Good Luck *****
The Godfather *****
One Hour Photo ***1/2
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ***
The Spaghetti West **1/2
March of the Penguins ****
The Weather Man ****
Judgment at Nuremberg ****
Field of Dreams ****
Bram Stoker's Dracula ****
Down by Law ***
The Thing ****1/2
Chappelle's Show: Season 2 ****1/2
On the Waterfront ****1/2
Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story ***
Jarhead ****
Six Feet Under: Season 4 *****
Comedian ****
Doom **1/2

Key:
2005 Release
Masterpiece

I keep having this dream where I have something stuck in my teeth. I use my tongue to try and get it out. I try and try, but I just cannot dislodge this item from my teeth. Eventually I sense that something is loosening up. I put more pressure on the object to try to dislodge it until I finally realize that my tooth is loose. Now, I'm continually testing my tooth by bumping it with my tongue to see if it really is loose. I continue to do this until my tooth falls out.

Last spring, I stopped going to Walmart. I wish I could sound like a good humanitarian and tell you that I stopped because they treat their workers so poorly, or because of the sweatshop possibility. Instead, I stopped going because one of the local Walmarts stopped carrying Widescreen DVDs. I was trying to find the new Casino DVD, my friend Dan and I noticed that they only had fullscreen. We looked around and noticed that the same thing occured with the Jaws DVDs. We asked a sales associate and he informed us that Walmart only carries Fullscreen. We laughed and asked him why and he told us that it is because that is what the Walmart customer prefers. Immediately after he told us that, a "typical" Walmart customer informed us all that she prefers Fullscreen.

Earlier this week, I broke down and went to Walmart. I had heard that they had an Xbox 360 demo, so I went there and played it and picked up some Windshield Wiper blades. Yesterday, I went to Walmart again. I looked online to try to find the cheapest price for Season 1 of Six Feet Under, and I found that Walmart was about $10 cheaper than anyone else. After I checked Sams Club, I went to Walmart to see if they had Six Feet Under. As I was walking to the Multimedia department, I walked by an aisle that had a puddle of urine in the middle of it. URINE!!! Apparently someone pissed themselves in the midde of the store. I sidestepped the urine and made my way to the DVD section to find that they didn't even have Six Feet Under.

It is no secret how successful Walmart has been. Yet, nearly all of my experiences in Walmart have been negative. The customer service is terrible and the layout is a mess. Walmart stores are just full of so much chaos. I go to Target and the environment feels safe, secure and clean. It is just incredible that a store could do so well relying completely on low prices and ignoring everything else. I wonder if that works for prostitution as well. A messy, chaotic, urine soaked, low class blow job for $7.95. Always Blow Prices. always.

Many of you already know this story, but I'll repeat it for those who haven't heard it before. The night before move out, Joe, Dan & I bought a dildo and glued it to Brad & Jess's apartment door. Apparently they didn't leave their apartment the next morning until 11:30, by then most of the residents (and their parents) who were moving out had already seen our work.

Photo of Joe and I admiring our work.

Photo of some Additional Commentary on the work.

October - 25 films
Midnight Cowboy ****1/2
Terminator 2: Judgement Day *****
The Terminator ****
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit ****1/2
The Work of Director Anton Corbijn ***
In the Heat of the Night ****
Grace 1/2
Battlefield Earth *1/2
Ghosts of Mars *1/2
Leprechaun *1/2
Broken Flowers ***1/2
Black Hawk Down ****
Scrooged ***
A Fish Called Wanda ***1/2
Unleashed ****
The Big Chill ****
Inside Deep Throat ****
Corpse Bride ***1/2
The Fly (1986) *****
Secret Honor ***1/2
Six Feet Under: Season 3 *****
A History of Violence ****
Out of Sight ****1/2
Badlands *****
Control Room ****

Key
Bold = masterpiece
Italic = 2005 release

So, as many of you may know, my days are pretty empty. I'm asking for anyone who reads this to post a story. Just a quick synopsis of a story, any story. I will read the story, and hopefully write a short screenplay adapting the story. I will fill in all the holes, I just need a general direction. I want to see a) if anyone will post a story b) if I will write anything c) what I can come up with. So, feel free to post some ideas. I have plenty of time.

I made an image that sums up the ALCS for me. All four of the starters pitched a Complete Game. Incredible.

Home is depressing.

Sports are cool, especially baseball.

People rush into marriage.

Unemployment still sucks.

Creationists are insane.

September - 24 films
The Work of Director Mark Romanek ***1/2
East of Eden ****1/2
The Dead Zone ****
Fast, Cheap and Out of Control ****
2046 *****
The Office: Christmas Special *****
The Office: Season 2 *****
The Office: Season 1 *****
Clay Pigeons ***
Oldboy ****
Mr Death: The Rise & Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr. ****1/2
Six Feet Under: Season 2 *****
Gates of Heaven ****
Dead Ringers ****
Guns, Germs and Steel ****
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure ***1/2
My Left Foot ****
The Brood ****
Six Feet Under: Season 1 *****
The Aristocrats ****
The Nightmare Before Christmas ****
Grizzly Man ****1/2
Peter Pan (2003) ***1/2
Eddie Griffin: Voodoo Child ***1/2

Top 5 Films of 2005 (so far):
1.) 2046 - It planted a seed in my mind when I saw it. I liked it a lot when I was watching it and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Wong Kar-Wai may be the best Director working today.
2.) Murderball - A great documentary where the game itself is just a structure that connects the incredible stories of the people involved.
3.) Grizzly Man - A critical look at a man who lived (and died) with Grizzly Bears.
4.) War of the Worlds - I am one of the only people who thought so highly of this movie. It has it's flaws but I feel the excitement the film generates during it's great scenes outweighs it's shortcomings.
5.) The Aristocrats - One of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time

The fact that I was unemployed and could do whatever I want during the day has lost its fun. The humor I found in so many applications sent out and the lack of responses that followed is no longer funny. I'm at a point now where it is really difficult to fill the days and I'm constantly checking my phone hoping an employer called. There is a website I frequent where I said that I would donate money to if I found a job. I posted that statement in May.

In the wake of another Bush administration mistake, I found this video of a Bright Eyes protest song. I think the most impressive part of this video is that it was actually allowed to air on television. Also, it is a free download on Apple's ITunes.

On another note, here is a very humbling video of the Hurricane Katrina crisis. Of all the footage I've seen from Katrina, this had the biggest impact on me.

Also, good ol' Al emailed me back about his Astrodome comments.

I understand they need more room to camp out for a bit. My point was, and remains, the fire marshal was sdaying it was "too full" when it had 10K. What the heck do they do when it's sold out?

It was a staging area...for humans. It was better than having them out in the elements. The fire marshal just got all excited, I'm sure, and wanted his name in the paper.

Al

I still think he missed the point.

It is September and that means that the Fall Movie Season is upon us. This is my favorite time of the year for cinema since most of the Oscar worthy films are relased between now and December. Here are a few of the films with links to their trailers that I am excited about.

The Corpse Bride
Release Date: September 23, 2005 (wide)
Cast: (voices) Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Emily Watson, Albert Finney, Christopher Lee, Richard E. Grant, Joanna Lumley.
Director: Tim Burton and Mike Johnson
Trailer

Capote
Release Date: September 30th, 2005 (NY/LA).
Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener, Chris Cooper, Clifton Collins Jr., Mark Pellegrino
Directed by: Bennett Miller
Trailer

A History of Violence
Release Date: September 30th, 2005 (limited)
Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Maria Bello, Ed Harris, William Hurt
Director: David Cronenberg
Trailer

Good Luck, and Good Night
Release Date: October 7th, 2005 (limited)
Cast: David Strathairn, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr, Patricia Clarkson, Jeff Daniels
Director: George Clooney
Trailer

Wallace & Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Release Date: October 7, 2005
Cast: Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter
Director: Steve Box & Nick Park
Trailer

Jarhead
Release Date: November 4th, 2005 (wide)
Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, Peter Sarsgaard, Chris Cooper
Director: Sam Mendes (Road to Perdition, American Beauty)
Trailer

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Release Date: December 9, 2005
Cast: Georgie Henley, William Moseley, Skandar Keynes, Anna Popplewell, Tilda Swinton, Rupert Everett (Voice), Liam Neeson (Voice)
Director: Andrew Adamson
Trailer

Brokeback Mountain
Release Date: December 9, 2005
Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Anne Hathaway
Director: Ang Lee
Trailer

The New World
Release Date: December 25, 2005
Starring: Colin Farrell, Christian Bale, Q'Orianka Kilcher
Director: Terrence Malick
Trailer

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

There is a Milwaukee Brewers blog where the blogger often posts about current events. The problem is this guy is extremely ignorant and his posts often are very offensive. He is consistently trying to defend the Government for what has happened with Hurricane Katrina. He has even as gone as far as saying it was a "spectacular" recovery effort. Another choice entry starts out with the line, "I'm a big fan of the way WalMart does business".

I decided to call him out on one of his entries:

(9/02/2005 02:11:00 AM) - Al

Just two hours after the Astrodome was ordered closed, it has reopened. HPD says that all buses on the Astrodome premises will be allowed to unload their refugees, who will be processed and received into the Dome.

ABC-13’s Dave Ward says, "Apparently, the Houston fire marshal has just been booted out of the place."

I'm not a really smart guy, but how can a 50K seat stadium be considered "full" at about 10K? Someone ought to teach the fire marshal some 3rd grade math.

My response via email

I know I'm a few days late on this, but if you were as confused a week ago, you are likely still confused. Your statement about a 50k seat stadium used to house victims of Hurricane Katrina not being full at 10k is short sighted. You are assuming that the victims are given one seat (about a 2x3 ft area) to live at for a week. It isn't like they are given a ticket with a free hot dog and the Astros put on retro-uniforms and play a game for them. I'm willing to argue, and looking from the video clips I am correct, that the victims are being cared for on the playing field and the concourse. I've already established that you are confused, are you trying to offend people too or will you just plead biased ignorance?

cheers
_Rob

I have a question for those of you reading.

Would you rather be...
a tortured genius?
or
happy & ignorant?

Discuss.